Making friends not enemies

بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيم
(In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful)

وَلاَ تَكُونُواْ كَالَّذِينَ تَفَرَّقُواْ وَاخْتَلَفُواْ مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَآءَهُمُ الْبَيِّنَـتُ وَأُوْلَـئِكَ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ
And be not as those who divided and differed among themselves after the clear proofs had come to them. It is they for whom there is an awful torment [4:105]

The world is full of warring people: brothers, sisters, spouse, communities, nations –no one is free from this affliction. The meanings of words such as brother or spouse have become defunct, now referring to a mere biological/ legal connection rather than the deeper relationships of love companionship and friendship.

The cause of the warring?

 Misunderstanding, old rivalries, grudges and conflicting “VALUE SYSTEMS”. The last, I believe goes to the root of it all. Many would like to believe that people are inherently deceptive, schemingly selfish or aggressive. However this is not true.

What is it, that is intrinsic to people in their value system?

Well, it’s their hierarchical structures of things they value most in their lives. This maybe money, power, adventure, security, health, career, studies, fame, the opposite sex, family, friends or even things like food, sports, dancing, partying and sometimes something much deeper such as philanthropy, social work or God. Any one of these can take precedence over all others if it is top of a person’s value system. We cannot however change a person or renounce his values under rational explanation, justifying one set of values as being better than another. Value system lies at a deeper level than intellectual systems.

For example a train crashed into a bridge and fell into the river below. The carriages began sinking rapidly as water flooded into them. Rescue teams arrived shortly but water had already reached chin level. One young couple was trapped with their child. Rescuers reached into the compartment to pull out the couple. Instead they handed over their baby and perished as their compartment submerged.

An act of heroism or foolishness?

Both views can be argued vehemently. But arguing changes nothing. For that particular couple, there existed no other option. Saving their baby first was the only thing to do.

Understanding that other people don’t always share the same value systems we do, is the first and most crucial step towards creating friendship or resolving strife. It makes it easier for us to let go more often. Too many discussions on trivial matters such as distance from point A to B, religion, faith etc end up in an argument and bitter exchanges.

Understanding their belief system/value system first would be the first step.

We often get influenced or confused by history or theories taught in school and college, WHY?

It is due to lack of knowledge, lack of our belief system, lack of our value system!

To think on similar lines it is very crucial therefore to bind ourselves, our family, our youth to one value system, one belief system, one true religion! If the value system is same then hearts come together and thinking becomes alike.
This starts by gaining the knowledge of Deen/religion.

Signing Off: ‘And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another, they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong’ [9:71]

About alkalaamblog

A student....... in pursuit of knowledge !
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